In Won’t You Be My Laser, storm your way through 25 varied levels! Radical!

Race to the finish, avoiding sentient dystopian gun turrets that are, quite literally, loose cannons! Way past cool!

Push conveniently-sized crates filled with hovering skateboards, new formulas of your favourite colas and synthetic mullet wigs into the line of sight of those turrets to sneak past undetected! Killer!

Grab the pick-up sticks in each level, because entertainment doesn’t get much better than that! Tubular!

And win as speedily as your fluorescent running shoes can take you to beat each star rating and win up to 5 stars in each level, because there’s no such thing as 3 star ratings in the 80s – mobile phones, as you all well know, are only for telephoning your home landline and making your pants fall down when you forget your belt! So bad!

It’s all there for you in Won’t You Be My Laser, the fun, inexpensive little diversion set in the distant year 2000.

So head down to your local arcade with a pocket full of quarters and get ready to spend the night with Won’t You Be My Laser!

…or buy the entire game digitally off of this weird Steam thing that everyone’s talking about. I don’t know either.